16th April 2006...Mcleod Ganj
I made an appointment at an ayurvedic centre in Bagsu. It advertised a 2hr consultation of your individual constitution, sounded good. I arrived there and was taken by new Keralan Dr to the outpatient clinic down the road where Dr Senior also resides. I had a short sharp shock back into indiaville. We sat down. He looked confused. A small dirty room with 2 chairs and no private room just an open door to the street. Dr junior stood over me, I took it to mean no examinations then. They both seemed confused about the purpose of my visit. I tried showing them their own advertisment, not much help. I pressed ahead giving suggestions about what this session may include. Dr junior takes a pen and paper and begins that imaginary writing thing, hovering over the paper when you havent got a clue what to write, his vigorous head wobble shows willing though. I notice he has nice shoes. Dr senior looks in dangour of sleeping. I get nervous.
Dr junior begins- name, female, age...he seems impressed with his statistics, I feel that we havent quite finished yet. Dr senior is now busy reading the hole pamphlet of which 3 lines actually describes this particular session but seems to think reading the background of the centre may help us along. Dr Junior is looking nervous, he is new and doesnt want to look bad in front of Dr senior. He slowly begins to ask some questions "madam, and how is your digestion?" "How is your sleeping?" Dr senior grabs my arm for my pulse, I wince because thats my injection arm. I say I sleep well, Dr Senior shakes his head at me and asks me how long Ive been suffering with a mental disorder. "I dream alot" I try to help. Dr junior jumps on this gem "about what?" "oh I dont know, so many things" I reply. 'so many things' he adds to his medical notes. We are now building up a sheet of statements like 'so many things' and a list of ailments so long I wonder how Im still alive..I must really need this!
Dr Senior whispers loudly to Dr Junior 'she is a vata suffering with a menal nervous disorder' "oh" I say "I thought I might be pitta". case closed. I am a pitta suffering with a vata disorder. Prescription, Shirodhara, 7 days of pouring hot oil on my head, and Nasya, just a few drops of this and you will be cured of mucas forever. "Madam, this will clean your brain" Dr Senior chuckles.
I, being slightly sadistic push for a little more. "eeer, something about diet?" I feel the tears welling, maybe I do have a mental disorder. Dr Senior closes his eyes, concentration or sleep. We are all quietly contemplating food. He turns to Dr Junior "Dahl Mukhi"it goes on the paper. Silence. Prolonged. "potato". halluja potato goes on the list (of which I'm not sure whether is foods good or bad for me). I begin to actually enjoy myself and sit back imagine taking this list to my local Sainsburys. I end up with about 8 things on the list a mixture of good and bad, not specified. Potato has been suggested about 15 times and it has been stressed that salads are good for me..does this man work for a genius?
I leave with a strange feeling that I am no further along my path to health enlightment clutching my paper reminding me I dream of 'so many things'. However since then I caved and agreed to give my brain a good old clean...I start tomorrow.
PS
And thats a another story but just to clarify that the real Dr at the centre was the best and most precise Dr I have ever been to see and his treatment i took later was amazing. just to say like..
